Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Things I Wish I Didn't Have to Google...

* Toddler Constipation

* Toddler Hiding to Poop

* Smoke Alarm Chirping

On the plus side, what would we do without the Internet??

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Potty Purgutory

I was so naive...

I had no idea that potty training was going to be such a loooooooooooong process!

I mean, I get that it wasn't going to happen instantaneously (well, unless I was extremely lucky, which would have been OK too). I realized it was going to involve time, accidents, and patience, and I promised myself I would do my best possible job of faking the patience part.

But man, it seems like this has been going on FOREVER. And the thing that kills me is that Monkey basically GETS IT. He just chooses not to do it. There's nothing like asking your kid "why didn't you tell me you had to go?" only to hear him say "because I wanted to go in my pants." Even though he will immediately complain that his pants are dirty and he wants you to change him.

At least we finally got over the "ewwww" hump. Once I resorted to putting Monkey in Big Boy Pants, he realized that going #2 was not conducive to continuing to play, walk around, etc., so now if he goes in his pants, he walks arouund like some kind of animal, trying to avoid continued contact with the offending deposit. But he still hasn't made the connection that he can just avoid this whole unpleasant scenario by just taking one minute out of his busy schedule to sit on the potty!

We have glimpses of success... The first time he pooped on the potty, I threw a freaking party. I danced, I sang, I cheered, I showered him with M&Ms! Monkey probably thought I was a maniac, but deep down I know he was proud and appreciated the theatrics. But apparently it was a one-hit wonder kind of thing - it took weeks (or was it months? I've seriously lost track of time!) before we could get a repeat performance. And still, today, if he's going to have an accident, odds are it's gonna be a poopy one. Because that's SO much more fun to clean out of Big Boy Pants. Sigh...

Last week was a low point. We had a string of accidents, and it seemed like we were going nowhere but backwards. But then, on Sunday, we went on a short road trip, and as we got out of the car at our somewhat remote, outdoor destination, I discovered that I hadn't restocked the diaper bag. That's right - we had NO diapers, NO pull-ups, and NO extra clothes. Although, for what it's worth, we DID have a big baggie to put dirty clothes in. Guess Monkey would just have to go naked when the inevitable accident occurred...

But, miracle of miracles, we made it through the entire day without an accident! Monkey successfully used a port-a-potty (although not without totally grossing me out by touching WAY too many things while inside) and a restaurant bathroom until Mommy could get to a Walgreens and buy some Pull-Ups. We were covered by naptime, which took place in the car on the ride home, but ironically, even once adequately protected, Monkey stayed dry!

As we neared home, Monkey started calling out that he had to go potty. We were five minutes from our own, clean bathroom, so I asked him if he could hold it, and he said yes. So why exactly was I surprised when I turned around a moment later to see him with his hand between his legs, "holding it"? I forget how literal toddlers can be!

So yes, we made it through a challenging day, and then we made it through yesterday as well. Yesterday, however, was one of those days that Monkey didn't end up pooping, and those are generally more successful. But, much to my surprise, he jumped up not once, but THREE different times from playing with his race cars and bolted for the bathroom, telling me that he had to go. Two of these were actually false alarms - I think the poor guy was actually constipated. But the idea of him taking the initiative to go? That's a definite milestone for us. Oh please, please, let us finally be over the last hurdle... I like to get my money's worth out of my purchases, but I REALLY wouldn't mind having to find someone to donate these last few diapers and Pull-Ups to!