My Kid, the Bully?

I really wasn't expecting it to start this soon (or necessarily at all, for that matter). But it happened - I got my first note from Monkey's day care teacher about a behavior issue... Monkey has apparently started being more "aggressive" towards his classmates - pushing them down, taking toys away from them, and sometimes pulling hair. Where is this coming from? Is it just part of the Terrible Twos - a child who is gaining independence and wants to do what they want to do, when they want to do it, the heck with what anyone else wants? Or is it Only Child Syndrome - signs of a child who doesn't have to share toys and time at home? I want to blame one or both of these things, as opposed to worrying that somehow I'm doing something wrong and raising a brat and/or a bully, but the real question is, how do we fix it?

You know, it's ironic... Monkey has a July birthday, which means that once "real" school begins, with kindergarten, he is going to go through life being probably the youngest kid in his class (unless we hold him back a year, but we haven't really considered that at this point). So in my mind, I've always worried that Monkey is going to be the small kid, picked on by the other boys. Perhaps he's trying to nip that in the bud by showing his "toughness" from the get-go?? Interestingly, right now he is actually one of the oldest, if not the oldest, in his one-year olds' class, so I wonder if that dynamic isn't playing into this a bit too - he's just showing that he's the big kid in charge because he can?

I'm not sure yet what our plan is to tackle this. Do I start randomly taking toys away from Monkey to teach him that he can't always have what he wants? Or does that just frustrate him more and increase the acting out at school? I hate to be always saying "no," but I also don't want him thinking he can always have whatever he wants. This is such a tough stage - they have the power of the tantrum, while we struggle with letting them have the tantrums vs. giving in just to keep the peace. Yikes - it's gonna be a long year....

Mommy Confession

Here's the deal: I don't enjoy blowing bubbles with Monkey.

Of course, he LOVES it. And I really thought it would be fun, watching him chase after bubbles, etc. But here's the thing: Monkey's way of "blowing bubbles" is to dip the wand in the bubble solution, then just kind of FLING it, so that all the solution splashes to the ground (and on my pants, and on Monkey, etc.). Not a single bubble comes out of this motion - it's really just glorified splashing. And it is soooo not fun. But Monkey laughs hysterically.

At first, I was able to enjoy his enjoyment, because who doesn't love watching a toddler's face light up with laughter. But then.... sigh... I just got bored, and impatient, and wondered how I could talk him into doing something else.

And, in case you're wondering: No, he won't give up the want to Mommy so that I can blow the bubbles and he can gaze at them in wonderment and chase after them. Simply not an option. As Monkey is fond of saying: "I do!"

Bad Mommy. :-(

And speaking of Elmo...

Let's all have a brief moment of silence, shall we?

In memory of the times, not so long ago, but not then appreciated, when Monkey and I could go to a toy store, Babies 'R Us, or anywhere we wanted in Target or Walmart, and Monkey would be happy just to be in the cart, looking at all the people and "stuff."

Before he recognized things like... Elmo. Mickey Mouse. The Wiggles. Pooh.

And before he screamed out that he must have these things, because they are "mine!"

I made the mistake of taking Monkey to Toys 'R Us today, looking for a step stool for his bathroom. My search took me through the bath and bedding sections, where there were Elmo couches, Elmo blankets, Elmo Sheets, Elmo towels, you name it. And Monkey saw it all.

And, being the sucker that I am, I picked up the cute Elmo hooded bath towel, and asked Monkey if he wanted it.

He happily grabbed it, and enjoyed checking it out for about - thirty seconds? Before it landed unceremoniously on the floor.

I can't tell you how many things I picked up to keep him from having a tantrum, and yet, ultimately we left the store empty handed. Sigh...

Elmo Not-so-Live

OK, I have a confession to make...

I think Monkey is in the process of committing Elmocide. :-(

I bought Elmo Live! for Monkey for Christmas, partly because he LOVES books with Elmo, and partly just because I thought it was so clever and wanted to see what all he would say when taken out of the box and "test" mode.

And Elmo is pretty cool - he tells stories, dances, tell jokes, sneezes... all kinds of stuff. And initially, Monkey was fascinated (the dog, on the other hand, was a little wary, but can you blame him?). But then we discovered the "uh oh" feature. For those of you not familiar with this furry little robot toy, apparently he has a sensor that can tell when Elmo has fallen down, leading him to say "Uh oh, Elmo fell down. Can you pick him up, please?" Then, once Elmo is returned to upright position, he says "Thank you," and tells the kind helper that he/she is Elmo's best friend.

Well, I don't know if Monkey became intrigued with this particular feature or what. After all, "uh oh" WAS his first word. But soon, Mommy began to go crazy listening to the chorus of "uh oh"s and "thank you"s. Then, Elmo started to get a little wonky, Monkey stopped picking him up and just started dragging him around by the arms, and now Elmo sounds like the lady who's fallen and can't get up, with a creaky case of arthritis to boot. He creaks every time he moves, and is constantly begging for help, to Monkey's deaf ears. So Mommy started imposing "Elmo rest times," with the help of the little on/off switch on Elmo's foot. I'm frankly at the point where I'm not sure whether to try to save Elmo or to hide him somewhere to let his batteries die out in peace. Would that make me an accomplice??

I'm still here...

Wow, it's been a while since I've written anything.

Perhaps not coincidentally, it all seems to go back to when Monkey dropped his morning nap... Our new schedule seems to be working really well now, and it has for a while, but man, it's amazing how much less down time I have now that we're a one-nap household!

That morning nap was great for so many things, not the least of which, I should not, is for me to get a shower! Now I often find that non-daycare days are "slob" days, and Mommy often doesn't get a shower, although at the very least she gets up about 15 minutes before Monkey to get dressed, put in her contacts, slap on some makeup, and take a quick pass at straightening her hair. That way, should we HAVE to leave the house for some reason, we can minimize the embarrassment if we run into someone we know. Mommy's actually gotten pretty good at this half-baked routine, actually, and has ventured out to the mall, although she usually regrets it as soon as she gets into a dressing room with unfriendly lighting (which is pretty much all of them, right??)

And, there are now that many more hours in the day to keep Monkey entertained... Thank goodness that warmer weather is starting to make an appearance, because Mommy is running out of indoor activities and is desperate to get out of the house most days (hence the ill-advised mall outings...)! Don't get me wrong - I have tried to find my craftier side, but so far, Monkey must not be impressed, because he is much more interested in scrutinizing the art tools - taking caps on and off markers, putting markers in mouth, biting tips of crayons - than using the tools to create a work of art to hang on the fridge. Today I even broke down and bought Play-Dough, which I KNOW in my heart of hearts that Monkey will only try to eat, but yet I am holding out on the slim hope that he enjoys actually playing with it more. I've seen some scattered about the room at his day care, so perhaps he's already experimented with the tasting and is ready for bigger and better things?

I was also sorely tempted at Target today to buy him some fun outside things as Valentine's Day present, most notaby a bubble lawn mower and a couple of small kick balls. But I'm afraid that if I buy these, the weather will take a turn for the worse, and I'll be stuck with a cranky Monkey who won't understand why we can't go outside and pay with his cool new toys. Maybe the Easter Bunny will have to bring them instead...

I am seriously thinking of buying one of those Learning Towers for the kitchen. Monkey has gotten in the habit of wanting me to carry him around WHILE I'm making his meal, which can be somewhat difficult, as you might imagine. He also likes to try to "help" put the lid on his sippy cup, etc. So I'm thinking this might be part of his "I do" stage, and that he'll feel more included if I get him up to counter level in a safe place that he can watch and maybe start to help. Those things are expensive, but it might be worth it to preserve my sanity!

Anyway, that's the latest from Monkey Land. I will try to be better about posting, and I hope I still have a few readers out there!

An update...

It's been a while since I've posted, and I didn't want you to think that the napping strike had done me in. Thankfully, I'm stronger than that!

Actually, the strike lasted about a week or two - it's a blur now. Monkey has finally settled into something resembling a routine again, and is napping consistently in the early afternoon, without nearly as much fussing (although a little protest here and there, just to keep Mommy on her toes). Sadly, his total nap time is still only half of what it used to be, which means less time for me to play around on the computer, not to mention do more productive things. But kids grow up, and he wasn't going to sleep forever. Besides, how much fun is that?

So, we've been trying to fill our extended days with new activities, and I will freely confess that I am stealing liberally from my on-line mommy friends, particularly since the cold (more like ridiculously frigid!) weather limits our ability to get out of the house as much as I'd like. We've bought some new art supplies, and I'm hoping to turn the time between lunch and nap into a quiet "sit at the table and do crafts" time, instead of the current "running around the house and chasing the dog and throwing toys and tripping and falling" time. We'll see if Monkey agrees...

I'm also trying to implement some semi-educational activities into our day. To echo a sentiment raised by more than one of my mommy friends, I'm having some "mommy guilt" over the fact that I seem to spend very little time interacting with and teaching Monkey, and most of my time just trying to keep him from hurting himself or the dog. I know that he's picking up on new things, both at home and at day care, but a little more effort on my part couldn't hurt. So, I've been looking at things like flash cards for shapes, colors, etc. Again, for all I know, Monkey will have zero interest, but it's worth a shot! Hopefully I'll be able to post about new accomplishments soon...

The Great Nap Strike of 2009

I'm beginning to realize just how lucky I was...

Monkey has been a GREAT sleeper! Really, I've had very, very few complaints. He started sleeping through the night right around 4 months, and I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've had to get up during the night with him since. Oh, he'll wake up from time to time, and sometimes he'll even cry, but it's amazing how often it only lasts for a minute or two and he goes right back to sleep.

He's been a great napper too. For as long as I can remember now, we've had the same schedule, more or less - two naps a day, one from about 10:30 - noon, and the other for 1 1/2 - 2 hours sometime between 2:30 and 6pm. It's been awesome - Mommy could shower during the morning nap, and get other stuff done, including work, in the afternoon.

And, perhaps best of all, we could brag to our family and friends about how well he went to bed. Almost as if on cue, Monkey would say "night night?", at which point I'd say "night night?" and he'd either (a) run to the bottom of the stairs and wait to be taken up, or (b) run to me to carry him up. We'd say night-night to Daddy, any visitors, etc., and Monkey would lay his head on my shoulder and give me a sweet hug as we went upstairs. I'd set him in his crib, where he'd take his paci, and then off with the lights and off to sleep - no fuss.

Well, needless to say, there's a reason this is all written in the past tense. Tor almost a week now, all schedules and routines have gone out the window. Monkey has decided to change up the game plan, only he's not telling us what the new one is...

We had a bit of a preview over the holidays, when we were traveling and his sleep got disrupted, but upon returning home, all was seemingly back to normal. Until last Wednesday - New Year's Eve. It's as if he wanted to do something significant to mark the start of a new year... It started with fussiness going down for naps, turned into refusing to take some naps at all, branched into fussiness at bedtime, and, most recently, took a whole new turn with an early 4am wake-up call. Mommy is TIRED.

I realize that the two-nap schedule couldn't last forever, and I'm willing to accept that, even if it does mean finding a new time to shower, possibly before I'd like to otherwise get myself out of bed in the morning... But isn't the remaining one nap supposed to become LONGER to make up for some of the lost sleep? Instead, it's gotten shorter, maybe an hour, if we're lucky, and often not without much protesting. When I say "night night?", Monkey now shakes his head at me, saying "no." When I put him in his crib, he immediately gets up on his feet and starts yelling. If I'm lucky, it lasts less than five minutes. If I'm not, it lasts until I'm afraid he's going to burst something, and we get up and wait to see if we can try again later.

This has to be temporary, right??? Surely my awesome sleeper can't have developed an overnight aversion to or lack of need for sleep?